I Write About the Grief Nobody Talks About

For the ones quietly grieving someone who's still here.

Every Tuesday, I publish essays about anticipatory grief—the grief of losing someone while they're still alive. The grief of watching someone fade. The grief that happens in the middle of goodbye.

Read them on Substack, or subscribe below to get them in your inbox.

This isn't clinical advice.

It's peer support from someone who's lived it.

Read on Substack

Hi, I'm Heidi.

I've lived through anticipatory grief in many forms—aging parents, shifting relationships, and even the quiet losses we don't always talk about.

I created the REAL Method—Recognize, Embrace, Align, Live—to hold what most people never acknowledge: the quiet pain of showing up every day while slowly letting go.

This isn't therapy.

It's peer-based support. A place to be real about what's hard, without needing to explain or justify it.

THE REAL METHOD

Restorative Education for Authentic Living

RECOGNIZE

Before healing begins, truth must be named. Not the polished version you show others—what's actually happening inside you.

EMBRACE

Your emotions aren't wrong or too much. This is where you give yourself permission to feel what you feel without judgment.

ALIGN

Alignment means coming home to yourself. Not perfect decisions—honest ones that honor your capacity and humanity.

LIVE

Life doesn't pause for grief. This means showing up while staying connected to yourself, even when everything is shifting.

What I'm Building

I'm creating resources to support people in anticipatory grief. Resources that give permission for the "wrong" feelings. That honor the both/and of loving someone while being exhausted. That help you stay real when everything feels impossible.

The first is a 7-day reflection journal for people in the middle of goodbye.

More to come.

You're Not Alone

53 million Americans are family caregivers

25% experience anticipatory grief

47% report increased anxiety and depression

But most find NO resources for the grief before goodbye.

This place fills that gap.